Even the halls of Congress need hall monitors. Joe and Chris both went to different ivy-league schools and each harbored a burning desire to one day serve their country in the U.S. Legislature. Instead, the only floor debates they have involve whose turn it is to sawdust the mysterious puddles of urine in the rotunda. Tasked with protecting the country’s lawmakers, these uniformed senator-sitters inevitably end up protecting our lawmakers from themselves. Their exasperated sighs echo from the majestic capitol dome to the marble, urine-slick floors.

By the way, Joe— it’s your turn.