If you need to find Senator Stan, you can typically locate him dangling from the coattails of the Majority Leader while he speeds along on his Segway. The wealthy Senator Stan Richelieu is the Majority Leader’s supple, well-manicured right hand. When the Major’s screwing the House of Senators gang, Stan’s giving the reach-around. A preppy jock in college, he still loves sports (SPORTS! SPORTS! SPORTS!), but he’s more NASDAQ than NASCAR now. Stan dreams of one day taking power and wielding the Senate gavel, or as he calls it, “that tiny polo mallet,” but he’s completely loyal to the leadership. In fact, a minor scandal erupted during his last election when it came out that he spent less time in his home state than he did lodged solidly up the majority leader’s ass.